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Simple girl with not-so-simple thinking.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Is that possible??

My Dad had just received his order from India Plaza and was rejoicing over the latest edition from Deepak Chopra.

SynchroDestiny. I read the Summary at the PaperBack and shrugged. Books? Not my cup of tea.

He took it along to our Kerala Trip. He was with it while he slept. He was reading it when we were watching TV.

"Whats it about Dad?"
He smiled. He LOVES being asked questions. He's so knowledgable. Not only does he love talking about various topics. He loves building a complete story, scene and climax around it. As he got into the concept of the book, I laid down next to him on the bed. Yeah, he likes it slow-paced and descriptive.
Basically, the book talks about all those nice lil' things that happen around us. The Magical things. Which...supposedly, we busy people, don't notice!O.K. ... was it going to be this 'usual', take a break-relax-smell-the-roses concept beaten to death(TOO CLICHE'd).. or so I thought.

But, Mr. Chopra speaks about those miracles which happen everyday and go unnoticed. We end up living all our lives and sometimes fail to appreciate even a single one of these. I smiled as Dad finished and carried on with my activities.

I was in the bus to my office when I saw a lady carry her miniature-thing-of-a-child across the road. I suddenly remembered my colleague who'd been on maternity leave for five months now. Her baby would almost be this size now, I thought and smiled. I should call her sometime. Its been ages since we caught up.

It was before I sat down at my desk that I saw her name flash on my cellphone screen as it rang.
I was gaping at it thinking OMG...Did I message her?Or, is she back in office?? I received the call striking an ear-to-ear smile in disbelief.
"How come you called??All well??CAN YOU BELIEVE it I was JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU!"

To her, it may have sounded like a "usual" greeting...you know! how people saying.. ohhh.. i was just gonna call you.. or , Ohh.. I was juuuust message. Although, in my head it was clearly a different picture.

She had called to invite me to her baby's naming ceremony. :)
After some loose talk, I hung up. Called up Dad. And I think its anyone's guess what I had to tell.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Losing.. The Faith..

As I started my work today..I recalled I was supposed to call up one of my friends.
She'd been on leave for the last three days and none of our common friends knew why. Usual Bangalore Viral.. I assumed.
She answered the phone, a very meek voice replied. That was her usual, being the polite yet giggly girl that she is. But this time, it sounded unusually low..it rather sounded choked. I tried to pull a joke asking if she ate any ice creams to make her throat go haywire.

There was no answer.

Something had happened...my heart suddenly sunk imagining all possibilities.
When I asked again, she said she'd lost her brother-in-law...the father of her 17 year old nephew.. her elder sister's husband.
I don't know how long I was speechless, I guess my brain just did not know what to ask, say or suggest. I ended up asking, "What are you doing in office then!?" She said she was short of leave and that she couldn't afford to take any more off-s.

She really needed to talk. Rather, I needed to talk to her and tell her that I was there and that things will lighten up. In fact, while I walked to her, I did not know what to say..what CAN possibly make things look better.
I was greeted by a pair of swollen eyes. She'd clearly been up for many days.
But, with my first sentence of condolence she replied saying, "Its fine. I have gotten used to this."
I was gaping at her.

She went on, "I had lost my father 10 years ago, then my first sister's husband 5 years later and now my second sister facing the same thing...Deepti, I know its part of life..but doesn't this sound a little too unfair?"
I kept looking at her face not knowing where to start. I had no idea she'd faced all this in the past. I could feel a lump in my throat.

She just forced a smile saying, "Its fine. Please don't feel bad. I myself don't know what to feel. Its scary that I don't feel anything anymore. Its kind of an overdose."
These words of hers froze me into my chair. I did not know what to say or how to react.
If I am right, she is few years younger to me and she has faced so much misery. I know, we all know, life and death is all a cycle. But, at such a time, no belief can comfort you.
She said, she had faith in God and that things always did light up gradually. But I could see that these unfortunate incidences had now formed a paranoia, that all men left the family in a mishap. It was daunting.

I spoke to her for a while and could see that nothing helped. She needed time. I told her I was right by her whenever she wanted to talk.
As I walked back to my seat, I prayed for her. But I will always remember her eyes, swollen with fear, grief and the worst... the loss of faith.